Going Out Without Knowing Anyone: Where and How to Join In

Going out alone, heading to a festival without your mates or arriving in a new city where you don’t know a soul: the idea still makes plenty of people nervous. In early October, several stories point the same way: solo outings, solo travel and the comeback of group hangouts. Here’s how to go out without knowing anyone, and how to turn up to an event already knowing who’ll be there.

Going solo, a wish that often gets held back

In a piece published on 3 October, Business Insider tells the story of a woman, almost 38 and a mother of three, who took her first solo trip for a work conference in Dover, Delaware. Before leaving, she worried she would know almost nobody there. She also wondered whether she had become too dependent on other people to enjoy a trip on her own.

The trip went well all the same. She extended it by two days in Wilmington, visited three stately homes and their gardens, and made friends along the way. She sums it up in one line:

“I discovered that I liked hanging out with myself and that it’s much easier than family travel.”

It’s a simple point. The fear of going out alone often comes from the idea that you’ll have to handle everything and keep the conversation going. In practice, you can let the place and the people you meet along the way carry things forward.

Loneliness goes beyond the apps

The topic goes beyond individual stories. The Washington Post reports that a church has turned its chapel into a taphouse, presented as a response to the loneliness epidemic. Here, a place to socialise becomes the argument, not just the backdrop.

In the Daily Tribune, Reyner Aaron M. Villaseñor argues that loneliness has less to do with screens than with the way we have let go of social obligations. For him, real community means turning up even when you don’t feel like it, and staying in places where nothing can be sorted with a click. He sets online exchanges against real-world ties:

“Digital connection is frictionless by design”

That idea links to a very practical question for anyone who wants to get out: where do you meet people, and when? A night out, a neighbourhood party or a festival has the advantage of being places where you actually end up face to face.

Group hangouts are coming back to dating apps

The shift is visible on the dating app side too. According to AOL, Tinder is adding group hangouts organised around an activity alongside its double dates. A group needs at least three members before other people can see it, and a group chat starts when there’s a match. The feature will launch first in the US and a few other markets.

Tinder’s own figures show what people are after:

• about 90% of people who tried double dates are under 30;
• people matched through double dates exchanged 35% more messages;
• in early tests in Australia, 40% of invitations were accepted.

Across the Channel, BuzzFeed reports that Brits are ditching dating apps during cuffing season, the stretch of winter when people look for a partner to see them through. According to the headline, one in five Brits would rather spend time with an animal than with a partner. The message is much the same: plenty of people now want looser ties than a one-to-one date.

Before picking a night out, check the place and the timing

A good night out often starts before you arrive. Once you know where you’re going and when, you also know who might be there at the same time. To choose, three questions are enough:

• The place: a bar, a neighbourhood, a festival, a hotel or a campsite;
• The timing: tonight, this weekend or your next trip;
• The people: who will be in the same spot at the same time, and who you’d like to chat with before meeting up.

It’s a different approach from apps that start with a profile. Here you start from the real situation, then look at who is sharing it.

Premeets: see who’ll be there before you arrive

Premeets is a free app for users aged 18 and over, available on iOS and Android. It works the opposite way to many social networks: you say where you’re going and when, whether that’s a bar tonight, a festival this weekend, a hotel, a campsite or your next destination. The app shows you people who have planned the same place at the same time, with the venue, the neighbourhood and the distance. You chat beforehand, then meet up on the spot.

The newer part is that you can also browse events near you and join a night out straight from the app. The Grand Barathon in Angers is one example: you join the outing from Premeets, see who’ll be there, and can turn up already knowing people. The same logic applies to other cities and other events.

Filters are mutual (age, gender, dates, activities), so you only see profiles that match what you’re looking for, and they see you the same way. Messages are organised by plan (friends, nights out, trips), so you can sort things out before you arrive. On safety, reports and blocks are handled quickly, and data isn’t reused elsewhere.

Premeets isn’t a dating app in the strict sense. It’s also for going out solo, filling out a group, or finding out who’ll be staying at your hotel or campsite. As our tagline puts it: the right people, at the right time, in the right place.

In short

Loneliness on a night out isn’t only solved online. This week’s stories and figures show that people need places, plans and others turning up at the same time. Starting from the place and the timing, rather than from a profile, is a simple way to arrive somewhere already knowing people.

Mathis Mauprivez, founder of Premeets