Dating app fatigue: why singles are returning to real life

Over the past few days, several surveys and articles published within days of each other, in India, the United States and New Zealand, point to the same conclusion: loneliness is rising among singles even as dating apps have never been more numerous. At the heart of the issue is a business model that several observers accuse of incentivising engagement within the app rather than genuine meetings. The result: more and more singles are putting their phones down and heading back to real places and real moments.

Loneliness persists despite the proliferation of apps

A Match Group-Ipsos survey of 1,000 Indian singles aged 18 to 45 found that 35% feel lonely often or always, even though 70% are actively working to build new social connections, according to MediaNews4U. Perhaps the most telling figure is this: 58% say they feel connected online but lonely in real life, even though 75% socialise in person more than once a week.

The study also points to very concrete causes of this isolation: 64% of respondents prioritise work or studies over their social life, and 55% say they are too exhausted after their day to go out. Anukool Kumar, head of India and the Middle East at Match Group, sums up the trend:

“Young Indians are becoming more intentional about the kind of connection they want,” according to MediaNews4U.

A business model built to retain, not to match

In the United States, an op-ed in the Washington Examiner makes a more direct criticism: singles have never had access to so many potential partners, with a single phone offering more in a few minutes than entire generations encountered in a lifetime. And yet, since the rise of dating apps, the annual marriage rate has fallen by 31% since 2000, and by 65% since 1970, according to the same article.

The argument is straightforward: the more infinite the supply of profiles, the easier it becomes to keep searching without ever committing. An app that keeps a user single, and therefore active on the app, is by design more profitable than one that gets them matched quickly and gone.

From casual swiping to deeper expectations

There are signs that something is nonetheless shifting in behaviour: according to BusinessLine, again drawing on the Match Group-Ipsos survey, 72% of Indian singles surveyed say they prefer fewer but deeper connections, and 63% say they would rather keep searching than settle for an imperfect match. Safety is also becoming a central criterion: 60% say they are concerned about safety and inclusivity online, and 52% cite verified profiles as a decisive factor when choosing an app.

In other words, purely casual dating is losing ground to more serious expectations, whether romantic or platonic: 53% of respondents are actively seeking in-person friendships, not just a romantic relationship.

A physical return to bars and nights out

This weariness has a very concrete expression in New Zealand. According to The Press, dating app fatigue is pushing Christchurch singles to physically return to bars, having grown tired of unsatisfying results online.

The Atlantic offers a complementary explanation for why the classic app format struggles to deliver. Several researchers interviewed by the magazine believe an underappreciated problem is the disappearance of mixed-gender, non-dating contexts, the everyday occasions where men and women simply crossed paths while going about their lives, according to The Atlantic. The typical app format, two strangers brought together by an algorithm, 90 minutes of small talk to judge whether there is a spark, is simply not an effective way to build a connection, according to the same article, which cites the example of a 38-year-old man who went on 40 first dates without finding the right person. One single woman quoted in the same piece sums up the prevailing frustration well:

“The odds are good, but the goods are odd,” reported by The Atlantic.

What this wave of coverage really tells us

Bringing together these signals from India, the United States and New Zealand, a common thread emerges:

• the supply of profiles has never been wider, yet it does not reduce felt loneliness;
• the advertising or subscription model of many apps benefits more from long engagement than from a quick match;
• singles themselves are asking for fewer matches but more meaning, and more safety;
• swipe fatigue is translating into a very concrete return to physical places, bars, events, nights out with friends.

A different approach: place and moment before profile

This is exactly the territory Premeets chose to focus on from the start. Rather than scrolling through profiles of strangers 30 miles away, the idea is simple: you indicate where you’re going and when, a bar tonight, a festival this weekend, a hotel or a campsite during the holidays, and the app shows who else has planned to be in the same place at the same time.

Context comes before profile, which changes the nature of the conversation from the very first messages: you’re not wondering whether the other person is available in the abstract, you already know you’ll be in the same place, at the right time. This approach directly addresses several of the findings from the surveys mentioned above: Premeets isn’t designed to maximise time spent in the app, but to organise a real meeting close in time.

Another difference: Premeets isn’t limited to dating. It can be used to widen a friend group, travel solo with peace of mind knowing who else will be at your hotel or campsite, or simply meet people at a festival. Mutual filters for age, gender, dates and activities ensure everyone only sees what’s relevant to them, and messaging organised by plan (friends, nights out, trips) makes it possible to sort things out before even arriving on the spot.

In conclusion

The convergence of these international surveys and reports shows that the problem is no longer just swipe fatigue on the user side, but also the way apps’ business models can perpetuate that fatigue. In response, returning to the real world, a bar, a place, a shared moment, is once again becoming a natural option. This is precisely where Premeets is trying to offer a simple answer: putting meetings, whether friendly or romantic, back in the right order.

Mathis Mauprivez, creator of Premeets